It was January 2020 and I was sitting in the living room in front of my best friend, my beloved husband, a man I love immensely, opening up about the woman that I was becoming and my desires and they didn’t reconcile with the container of our marriage. He knew and agreed. There we were crying and hugging each other on our sofa, in love and heartbroken. We were more in love than ever and we had a beautiful marriage, that had enabled us to grow more into who we really were at our core because our relationship was safe, loving and respectful. But growing into who we are OUTGREW the container of the relationship. If you’ve ever suffered heartbreak it’s the most terrible pain ever. I couldn’t breathe for 8 months and hired 2 spiritual coaches and a Reiki practitioner to support me.
Our love was so deep. Where do we go from here? How do we preserve the love, the friendship, the safe heaven that we are for each other and go our separate ways?
This is when I enrolled in a Tantric Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Program, first as a recipient of the method for 2 years and then the certifying Program. I wanted to accelerate my personal growth as a feminine woman (more on this later), find peace and heal my heartbreak and create the most beautiful and spiritually aligned relationship with Shane. Marriage is a religious or civil contract. It’s a product of Society. Our LOVE felt so much bigger than any of this. I wanted to create a magnificent post-marriage relationship with him and there were no manuals, no names, no examples around to guide us.
I decided to learn to empower the Inner Feminine inside me, because she is pure LOVE, and follow her guidance to create a way forward with Shane. I realized that all my life I had been disconnected from my Feminine Side, from what being a feminine woman really was about (even though I wore heels and dresses, I operated in my Masculine, hard, driven by challenge and prone to war and aggressiveness. Masculine isn’t LOVE at its core gift, it is PRESENCE – more on that later).
I also wanted to heal my Ulcerative Colitis. My auto-immune disease started around the time I began thinking about divorcing and yes, I can say now, looking at my first auto-immune disorder 10 years prior (Graves Disease) that relationships stress can cause illness. Changing my diet sped up my healing but it wasn’t the heart of the matter and wasn’t enough for complete remission. In fact, reflecting back into the hundreds of health and nutrition coaching clients I’ve worked with, I see now that relationship issues were always at the root cause of their health issues (food disorder, obesity, heart disease, diabetes T2, auto-immune disorder, etc.) but I didn’t have the knowledge nor the tools then to help them stand in their power and develop a better relationship with themselves. I only had diet, nutrition and lifestyle. It just scraped the surface.
At the heart of everything are relationships. Relationship with ourselves and relationships with others. And our relationship to self becomes the blueprint for how we relate to others.
Underneath eating the wrong food, drinking too much, not moving enough, not sleeping enough, anxiety, fear, anger, are often relationship issues. It often starts with Self. We stay in jobs we hate, with people we dread, we betray our partners (in reality or in fantasy), we betray ourselves, slowly year after year we become dull and numb and sometimes, sick. Great network of relationships are one of the key factors scientists have found to explain longevity in the blue zones (pocket of populations around the world that have an abnormally high number of people who live over 100).
Women inhabit their masculine to face challenges and it shuts down their inner feminine, their softness, openness, playfulness, love, and their flow (they dry out, become harsh, nagging, complaining). They become emasculating. A woman who lives in her masculine 24/7 wears her nervous system out and stress really takes a toll on her. The feminine flow is where a feminine woman comes home to her core, to love, and rejuvenates herself at the deepest level.
Since a little child I’ve been grown through Challenge and praise were rare (because praise softens… PRECISELY PEOPLE!!!!). The French educating system is no joke! Tests after tests after tests. 10h days, 5 days a week, and Saturday morning for 5h tests. Competing in sports also grew my masculine side. And then enter Corporate life and it’s War, especially in an American Consulting firm: Compete to sell, compete for promotion, compete to publish, challenge after challenge. I grew an amazing career and am grateful for it but in relationships, I was the same “effective doer” than at work. I wasn’t sweet, soft, surrendered, letting go and opened in my body to receive the masculine in his full force. Which is why the men I attracted were more balanced in their masculine/feminine side. A masculine King doesn’t want a masculine Queen who challenges him. In relationship, I was still competing with the masculine, holding tension, never really letting go, even in sex. I didn’t know I was this way, until I discovered otherwise.
I met two masculine men whose presence were so strong they woke up the feminine in me. You do not need to be intimate with a man to feel and be moved by his presence. A man who stands strong and present is the biggest gift in the world in my opinion. He’s not a macho man. He’s a man of strength, integrity, courage, unwavering power like a Mountain. Being in their presence shifted me so profoundly. I Yielded. No resistance. Just melting open. And in that yielding I discovered the depth of my heart and felt my Cervix come to life, glow, pulse, radiate and enliven my entire body, mind and integrate all parts of my nervous system, giving me access to parts of my brain and being I had never felt. I started to FEEL and trust what I was feeling and take direction from that place. Joy, Play, Mischief, Sparkle, Laughter, Lightness, Trust and FLOW. I started to trust all of life and I discovered that the deeper I surrended to my feminine, the deeper I trusted, felt safe and loving and all my gifts unlocked.
It is from this place that I started to shape the friendship Shane and I share today. He’s sitting across me as I write this😊
During my Tantric Sex, Love and Relationship Studies and Certification I learned to unleash my inner feminine and stand in my power as a woman without having to resort to the tools of the masculine to feel powerful. I make decisions very differently now, not like a man does, although I can but why would I? I feel rather than analyze and compute all the scenarios. It feels so much better in my system. Feeling…. Every woman I work with and the majority of men are disconnected from their feeling brains, and do not feel their bodies. The thing is… what the limbic and primal brain feel often contradicts the neo-cortex (thinking brain). So, in our culture that values masculine traits more, the thinking left brain shuts the feeling right brain down. After a while we stop feeling. That’s a problem. We disintegrate. Literally.
80% of women have difficulty experiencing deep vaginal orgasms through penetration. It’s not surprising. How could they? Unable to feel deeply, trust and surrender completely into their own body and to the Masculine.The cervix is armored to the teeth and often painful…
I have done the hard work to integrate myself as a woman, my nervous system, my body (including the Tantric practice of de-armoring my cervix), heart and mind and rise in my power as a feminine woman, knowing I can call into my masculine side if need be but I’d rather no overuse it. My boyfriend knows not to overly challenge me or it will only grow my masculine side. Instead, he is learning to use praise. Praise grows the Feminine in a woman. It softens a woman.Praise helps her grow more of what is praised. Praise your woman 5-10 times a day on her appearance or what she does, even if she hasn’t mastered it. She will work to continue bettering that thing you like. Don’t challenge her, praise her. Feel her soften. Challenge will harden her and damage the polarity in your relationship.
Announcement: In January, I will further expand my Tantric Sex Love and Relationship practice, alongside my health and nutrition coaching practice. I especially want to continue what I started earlier in 2023: Help empower Men to reconnect and create a Magnetic Masculinity that awakens the Divine Feminine in their partner and also transform and empower the women they interact with in all areas of their lives (mother, sister, friend, co-worker, etc.), so that they can live surrounded by love and feeling confident and safe to inhabit their full masculine power. I also help couples create more love and connection sexually, emotionally and spiritually.
I support them to inhabit their masculinity more fully, find their mojo if they lost it a bit, so they can ravage their wives open and connect very deeply with them and receive in return the deepest love a woman can be. Feeling love inhabit her fully transforms a feminine woman’s life completely. We were made to love! We ARE Love. One key trait of the magnetic masculine is a man who can be trusted and in the bedroom that means a man who can last for hours. It takes a minimum of an hour for a Woman to surrender open. Without sensing his stamina, a woman will not relax in her feminine and they will miss out on her cracking open and the flow of deep love, connection and mindshift that follows full body and multi-orgasmic states. I help men overcome premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and teach them to experience non-ejaculatory full-body orgasms. I believe that if every man and every woman experienced this kind of sex, love and relationship, there would be no war in the world! We’d be too busy loving and growing each other into the best version of ourselves and sharing our natural gifts. The Divine Feminine tempering and enabling the Divine Masculine to shine peacefully. The Divine Masculine saved my life and woke the Goddess inside me. All I had to do after was to do the work to empower her and trust her to guide my life. I am finally home!
What about my health coaching practice? I still help men and women turn their health around, lose weight, overcome disease, but if you seek my help, be prepared to go deeper in your soma, and along with diet and lifestyle changes, do inner child healing work, liberating family dynamics and re-parenting yourself, healing father and mother wounds, emancipate yourself fully into your authenticity, and learn to feel all emotions and express them, integrating the various parts of your brain so that you finally cross the finish line. If you’ve tried several times to lose weight or heal but have fallen short, it may be that you haven’t dug deep enough.
My darling, I have re-invented myself so many times. I do not teach a method or path I haven’t tried for myself first. The prior versions of me were the versions that created my old life, my former sicknesses, my former dysfunctional relationships, etc. My life and my health are different now because at the cellular level I am different now. My brain is different too. If you struggle in one area of your life, focusing on taking tactical actions to change things (more water, more greens, more sleep) may NOT be enough. You may need to change your BEING. Who you are at your core. A new version of you. I must be Emma version 10 by now! I have accumulated so many tools after 20 years of professional experience and personal experience. It works and it’s fun!
I hope this long newsletter inspires you to dream big dreams for yourself in 2024! Anything you desire is possible!
For the men reading this newsletter or for the men in your life, my FREE 30-Day Challenge to Create Magnetic Masculinity and Last Longer in Bed starts on Monday January 1. Information and Registration HERE. I have received many grateful letters from married men in their 50’s who have rekindled their sex life and deepened their love after 20 years + of marriage using the tools I will share.
Love is all there is really at the end of our life! It starts with learning to love ourselves better. And Shane and I have saved our love. We cherish each other and our lives are integrated even though other people have entered our lives.
I wish you a wonderful rest of the Year and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Warm regards,
Emma
